Helpless

Not now, really not now. U all cannot do this to me now... One by one... u all are doing this... do u all even know how i am feeling? i am sure u all don cause u are not me and u will never be me. Why does this have to happen now? i really don understand a single bit of it, am i destined to be a failure and never get to taste success? At least let me dream about it will you? But now u all are shattering my hopes, making me lose my way in life, making me helpless, making me a total loser and a total failure. I may be one yes, but i don wan to be deemed as a loser, cos no one wants to be a loser and be stamped with those letters on ur forehead everywhere u go. When u are a loser, it spreads faster than u can imagine and it realli hurts when someone tried to bring it back up to make u feel like a failure once again. i am desperately wanting to move on but u all are not allowing me to do so. U all just wan me to fail again, like how i did a few years back when it was so difficult for me to get through it. It was the greatest setback i ever faced in my life and lucky i had my friends to support me all the way, if not i would not have made it. And now, everything is happening again, history is repeating itself, it is a total re-enactment. What do u wan me to do? Will u onli stop when i am at my wits' end? When i cannot take it anymore and break down in front of u to beg u to stop all these nonsense? When i start to have stupid thoughts and no longer think that i am needed in this puny world of mine? Such an insignificant being i am, as much as i don wan to be. I wan to make a difference, but i cannot. Things are not going well at all, everything against my will, nothing is right... nothing at all. This sucks and if u don noe how it feels like, come try it, if u think it is so easy, come try it ! if u think everyone is as simple minded as u and take things at a time when it comes, come try it !! i dare u, and i am sure u will fail and break down even earlier than me. I can't wait to see u suffer when that really happens, if u wan failure and screw up ur own life, go ahead. Don implicate others. Damn it, i really need someone to talk to right now, cause i really cannot take it anymore. No way am i letting it happen again, even if it will require me to sacrifice my life and soul, i swear.